Rev Dr Lindsay Schluter, parish minister for South Uist and Barra

Opinion is divided about one of the most popular children’s books ever published: The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. Its story follows the lives of a tree and a boy. In his childhood the boy enjoys climbing the tree’s trunk, swinging from her branches and eating her apples. As he grows older though, the boy visits the tree only when he wants something from her. On each occasion the tree gives him a part of herself – apples, branches, her trunk – which the boy is then able to make use of to enrich his life, and each time the tree is described as being happy to do so.

But when the boy returns one last time we discover that now all that is left of the tree is a mere stump. She has given all she had and is now unhappy because she is apparently no longer able to provide anything. Yet when the boy says that the only thing he is looking for is a place to rest, she becomes happy again, because, even though she is now only a stump, this she can still provide.

How should the relationship between the two characters be understood? Is the tree generously giving out of selfless love, or is the boy’s persistent taking from her in fact abusive behaviour? Not once does the boy thank the tree for her generosity or give anything back to her. There is also the issue of the tree being female. Are unhelpful gender roles being reinforced?

In some Christian circles the story has been used to reinforce a message of selfless giving. Surely, so the argument goes, we should dedicate ourselves to imitate the outpouring of love that God has shown to us in Christ. One of the great spiritual classics, Thomas à Kempis’ Imitatio Christi, encourages this very thing.

Giving and sharing lies at the heart of Christian ethics. It lies at the heart of the story of God in Christ which we celebrate at Christmas, yet from the very inception of the Church’s life there have been discussions about how giving and sharing should best be lived out, with different models being tried. In the Book of Acts we learn of a form of Christian communism in which everybody was expected to give everything they had to the community. Conversely,in Paul’s letters we find teaching about ongoing proportionate giving which would imply a steady personal income to support the flow of ongoing generosity.

Returning to the concept of our imitating Christ in our day-to-day living, we should remember two things. One is obvious: we are not Christ Jesus. Our earnest endeavour to lead lives that imitate his can only ever be approximations. And in that lies a challenge as well as reassurance.

The other is just as obvious, yet somehow many shy away from it. Jesus came to receive as well as to give. Whether it was receiving hospitality from close friends or distant strangers, whether letting himself be cared for through the touch of anointing oil or the financial support given by others – he set an example of how we are to learn to receive from others as much as to give to them. He demonstrates to us that he does not need to be the one in charge, the one who possesses the resources with which to provide for a needy other. Instead he becomes the one who lets go, to be at the passive receiving end of generosity which is a way of being and living which does not come easy to some of us.

In his own life Jesus demonstrates that giving and sharing should never leave anyone emotionally hollowed out or financially destitute. Giving to others, receiving from others are to be acts of freedom, not acts of obligation.

If giving is leading to stress, and even exhaustion, then it is no longer an imitation of the love of Christ. Giving to and receiving from others should be free acts of love, acts that enable both giver and receiver to become more, not less, their God-given selves.

At Christmas, God gave himself to us, doing so freely and generously. And we are invited to imitate such freedom. We are invited to choose freely to give and be generous, giving our all or only a part. We are free to choose not to be depleted. In short, we are free to enjoy our giving. We are free to enjoy being the receiver. If on the other hand we feel bound and restricted by either, then maybe a return to the story of Christmas could be a way of a deeper exploration on what it means to give and to receive. In that story the flow of giving and receiving is lived and demonstrated by many and varied characters. It may be that coming alongside them may assist us to come to our own place of greater freedom in the acts of giving and receiving.

Praying for a rich and fulfilling time of Advent and Christmas for each and everyone.

Rev Dr Lindsay Schluter, parish minister for South Uist and Barra